Conversation Jokes / Recent Jokes
Frank was barely sitting down when he heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you doing?"
He's not the type to start a conversation in the restroom, but he don't know what got into him, so he answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doing just great!"
And the person in the other stall said, "So, what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At this point, Frank was thinking this was too bizarre, so he said, "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point he was just trying to get out as fast as he could, when he heard another question, "Can I come over?"
This question was just too weird for Frank, but he figured he could just be polite and end the conversation. He told the person, "No... I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then he heard the person say nervously, "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!"
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following; "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "Im just telling my friend how to spell Mississippi."
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
12. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the more...
The conversation
Manny goes into a restaurant and orders fried haddock. The waiter serves him a nice sized piece of fish. As he`s walking away the waiter overhears Manny talking to the fish. Soon Manny is deep in conversation with his lunch.
"What on earth are you doing?" says the waiter. “Do you want to eat it or marry it?” Manny replies, “We`re just schmoozing. It seems that the fish is from Herne Bay in Kent. I used to live there and I was asking the fish how things are back in my old home town.”
"What did he say?" asked the waiter.
"He said, “How should I know? I haven’t been there in years!”
Two Italian men seated on the bus engage in animated conversation. Initially, the lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation, but she begins to listen in horror as she hears one of the men saying...
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. Den I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. Den I come again and pee twice. Den I come once-a-more."
"You foul-mouthed pig!" the lady exclaims. "In this country, we don't speak about our sex lives in public."
"Coola down lady," the man says. "Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi."
Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT; woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION; woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD; woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE; woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.
Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY; woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things... While women STUCK to shopping..............! !!!!!!!!
A friend of ours sat down next to another passenger on a train recently and couldn't help overhearing his conversation out the window with a man standing on the station platform.
"Thanks for putting me up while I was here, Sam," said the passenger.
"Glad to do it," said the other man.
"Thanks for the food and the drinks-everything was wonderful."
"It was a pleasure," said the man.
"And thank your wife, Sam-she was great," said the passenger, as the train began pulling out. "I really enjoyed sleeping with her."
Our friend was rather taken aback by this exchange and he turned to his fellow passenger and said: "Pardon me sir, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Did I understand you to say that you enjoyed sleeping with your friend's wife?"
"Well," said the fellow passenger, "I didn't realty enjoy it. But Sam is a hell of a nice guy."