Cooking Jokes / Recent Jokes

Women think they already know everything, but wait... training courses are now available for women in the following subjects:
Silence, the final frontier: Where no woman has gone before.
The undiscovered side of banking: Making deposits.
Parties: Going without new outfits.
Man management: Minor household chores can wait till after the game.
Bathroom etiquette i: Men need space in the bathroom cabinet too.
Bathroom etiquette ii: His razor is his.
Communication skills i: Tears - the last resort, not the first.
Communication skills ii: Thinking before speaking.
Communication skills iii: Getting what you want without nagging.
Driving a car safely: A skill you can acquire.
Telephone skills: How to hang up.
Advanced parking: Backing into a space.
Water retention: Fact or fat.
Cooking i: Bringing back bacon, eggs and butter.
Cooking ii: Bran and tofu are not for human consumption.
Cooking iii: How not to inflict your diets on more...

Women think they already know everything, but wait... training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking (hahahahahahaha)
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and more...

Women think they already know everything, but wait... training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11.Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human more...

Women think they already know everything, butwait...training courses are now available for women on the following subjects: 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human more...

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean you have oral sex with other men?"
The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mum, that's right."
His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!"

Barbeque is the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers
to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.
The woman goes to the store.
The woman "fixes" the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging
beside the grill.
The man places the meat on the grill.
The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
women.

There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
You have a' Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
You hide everything from your parents.
Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
Everyone is a family friend.
Everyone always called you for help on homework.
You read law, medicine or engineering at university.
You were thick (i. e. stupid) so you studied accounting or business instead.
You know no one who has studied music.
You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
Your more...