Coop Jokes

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?"
"No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"
"You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."
The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished he kicks a chicken. Next, he walks to the barn and takes out the old milking cow. After milking her thoroughly, he kicks her. Then the boy gets the food and feeds the pigs. Once he is done he kicks a pig.
Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple. Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and my sausage?"
"Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so now you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so now you don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so now you don't get any more...

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster "Ok, old fellow its time to retire."

The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens...look at what it did to me!"

The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about this.

Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike."

The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon...just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you."

The young rooster says "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over."

So, the old rooster says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what young fellow. I'll have a race with you around the farm house. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop."

The young rooster says, "You know I'm going to beat you, old man, so just to be fair more...

Q: Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors? A: Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.

Chee Soon Juan - Did I say that the chicken crossed the road? I meant the chicken-rice stall across the road, but left out some letters because of typo. SDP vice-chairman - wo ting bu dong ni jiang shen me. (I don't know what you are saying). Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Worker's Party - The PAP doesn't allow chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - The opposition must be loyal to Singapore. Don't eat Hainanese chicken rice. Eat Singapore noodles. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say eat Hainanese chicken rice? I said CONSUME chicken rice at the stall across the road. PAP - There is no chicken rice stall across the road. Worker's Party - That is not true. The PAP just doesn't want chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - We must always stay on this side of the road and remain true Singaporeans. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say consume chicken rice across the road? I said eat chicken rice OPPOSITE the road. PAP - You said more...

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,' OK, old fart, time to retire.'

The old rooster replies,' come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens. Look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,' Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over.' The old rooster says' I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'

The young rooster laughs,' You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start.' The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He's already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is more...