"Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" joke
Chee Soon Juan - Did I say that the chicken crossed the road? I meant the chicken-rice stall across the road, but left out some letters because of typo. SDP vice-chairman - wo ting bu dong ni jiang shen me. (I don't know what you are saying). Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Worker's Party - The PAP doesn't allow chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - The opposition must be loyal to Singapore. Don't eat Hainanese chicken rice. Eat Singapore noodles. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say eat Hainanese chicken rice? I said CONSUME chicken rice at the stall across the road. PAP - There is no chicken rice stall across the road. Worker's Party - That is not true. The PAP just doesn't want chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - We must always stay on this side of the road and remain true Singaporeans. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say consume chicken rice across the road? I said eat chicken rice OPPOSITE the road. PAP - You said something different just a moment ago. Ling How Doong - Don't talk cock. We didn't say it. Chee Soon Juan - I have already repeated this sentence many times. I said, EAT chicken rice ALONG the road. --- contributed by Chua Kay Chuan PM Goh: What does being a chicken mean? Does it mean that if the chicken does not get to cross the road it will feel less than part of the coop? No. That must not be so. We are all chickens here and we must work together as chickens. We must want to stay in the coop, not because the coop provides us shelter, but because we are all chickens. Understand our chicken history to know that we have come to far from those bad days when we were just running around like unruly kampung chickens and not being hot housed as well-disciplined and efficient battery hens. We have to make sacrifices, but at the same time we support each other. So that if we ask you to give up the idea of crossing the road, you will understand that it is for the good of the coop. Only together as a coop can we stay cohesive. Lim Boon Heng: As a working chicken you must understand that crossing roads is not for you. It is meant for the professional chickens. These chickens are far and few in between and will require even corn on the other side of the road to cross our roads because they can cross roads anywhere in the world they choose. So for the greater good of the coop, please understand that crossing roads is not meant for you. And while you're at it can you please take a wage freeze? BG Yeo: This is because the chicken is sensitive to the multi-racial nature of its society and although it understands each culture is different, it also realizes that it must live within society. So it compromises. It finds some values -- a little from the Chinese, a little from the Indians, something from the Malays -- something uniquely Singaporean, and eventually it gathers the energy, the wider vision, the impetus to cross the road. SM Lee: (1996) This is Asia. As young chickens, chase the rainbow and cross the roads here. Opportunities abound. You might get run down by cars in the process of crossing these roads, especially those in Myanmar, but it doesn't matter. For ten thousand who get run down one might reach it across -- and at the end of that rainbow -- there will be your dream. So it baffles me when they tell me that they want to cross other roads, elsewhere, because it is here that road crossing should be done. BG Lee: The chicken is a liar, a twister and a prevaricator and not only should he be run down, but he should also be defeathered, boiled and skinned-alive as an example for all other chickens to see and that will teach them a lesson in road crossing and typo errors. --- contributed by Anon A: Because it was a Singaporean chicken and the PAP told it to cross. A: Because it wanted to get to MRT station on the PAP side of the road. A: How did you know the chicken REALLY crossed the road - don't be naive and believe everything you read in the local press. A: I don't know, I'm doing science, not arts. A: Why are you asking him? Only MPs who graduate from Ivy League universities are qualified to comment on the real reason why the chicken crossed the street. A: The chicken did not speak English or Mandarin and was therefore unable to get on the sedan chair and be carried across the street. A: Free textbooks available across the street? A: Will it be on the exam? --- contributed by Edmund Chia No chicken ever crossed the road. You think the chicken crossed the road because you see the chicken rice stall opposite the road. The statistics showed that an average of 93. 408 people cross this road daily over the past year, of which 5. 325% did not use the pedestrian crossing last month and were duly caught and fined. 70. 874% stopped at the chicken rice stall to take their lunch of which 41. 366% packaged it home. But there are there are no data showing any chicken ever crossed the road. Let's get real. How can a chicken ever cross the road? It will be killed by the traffic before it made even half the way. Don't let the SDP mislead you with false data. Even though no chicken ever crossed the road, but through the sound policies of the PAP government over the years, the chicken rice stall continues to enjoy good growth. And people continue to enjoy good and high quality chicken rice daily. So if you give the government your full backing, you can be assured of eating more years of chicken rice even though no chicken ever crossed the road. --- contributed by Harish Pillay
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