Cop Jokes / Recent Jokes

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.
The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.
The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, “meow”, the cop says, “oh, its only a cat”
He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, “woof, woof”. The cop says, “its only a dog”.
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, “potato”

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Victor Willis, founding member and original cop of the'70s disco band The Village People, says he is doing his best to get his life back on track while remaining behind bars for alleged cocaine possession. And by back on track, he means teaming up with a gay indian, a construction worker, and a sailor, and plowin' dudes.

Large roundup also nabs scores of other rappers for impersonating actors.

Police said a 22-year-old man broke into an apartment amd stole $82 worth of chicken wings and Hot Pockets. The man then broke into a drugstore and stole $82 worth of Kaopectate.

A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,
"Can I help you lad?"
"Yesss, Sssshombody stol me car!" the Irishman replies.
The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It was at the end of this key"
About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see.
He then asks, "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
The Irishman looks down woefully and moans "OOH GOD... they got me girlfriend too!!"