Corporate Jokes / Recent Jokes
Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control more...
These are fabricated corporate slogans that would never have made if far if they entered the real world. Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?" MTV: "Loud and easy to spell." Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid!" Iguana: "The other green meat." Nike: "Just buy the shoes, you flabby spineless lump!" Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years." Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes!" Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!" Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!" Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?"
Are you management material? Do you have what it takes to be an effective manager in corporate America?
Take this quiz and find out. The brief quiz below includes four questions and indicates whether you are qualified to be a manager in your employer's company. The questions are not that difficult.
How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, insert the giraffe, and close the door.
(This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.)
How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator door.
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, insert the elephant, and close the door.
(This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.)
The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct more...
After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America's recreation preferences. 1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling. 3. The sport of choice for front line workers is: Football. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball. 5. The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis. 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: Golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become!
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.The Japanese team won by a mile.Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering more...
These are fabricated corporate slogans that would never have made if far if they entered the real world.Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?" MTV: "Loud and easy to spell." Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid!" Iguana: "The other green meat." Nike: "Just buy the shoes, you flabby spineless lump!" Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years." Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes!" Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!" Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!" Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?"
The National Science Foundation announced the following study results on corporate America recreation preferences: 1. Sport of choice for maintenance level employees: bowling. 2. Sport of choice for front line workers: football. 3. Sport of choice for supervisors: baseball. 4. Sport of choice for middle management: tennis. 5. Sport of choice for corporate officers: golf. CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls.