Counseling Jokes

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship," the husband explained. "She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts."
He continued, "She communicates well and I act like I'm listening."

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,"the husband explained. "She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts." He continued, "She communicates well and I act like I'm listening."

John and Mary visit their pastor for marriage counseling. The pastor gets up and hugs Mary, and sits down. He gets up and hugs Mary a second, and third time, and then turns to John and says, "See that, John. Mary needs that EVERY DAY!"John replies, "Well, that's fine, Pastor. But I can't bring her over hereexcept on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

A husband and wife pulled guns on each other and shot it out at church during a marriage counseling session after he arrived late, drinking a beer. Both were wounded. With a beer in one hand and a gun in the other, Michael Martin shot his wife as she tried to walk out of the meeting at St. James Episcopal Cathedral, their counselor said.
A bleeding Bonnie Martin pulled a pistol from her purse and shot her husband in the shoulder. The two took the gunbattle outside, where Bonnie Martin collapsed and was fired on again. Michael Martin allegedly hit his wife at least once more before he ran out of bullets. "They were arguing.
It was your typical domestic dispute. Then the fireworks started. It's a good thing that he had been drinking because he could have hit her more," said the Rev. Bud Searcy. He was a lousy shot."

The American Psychological Association is reviewing its policy on counseling gays and lesbians to help them become heterosexual.

Conservative religious leaders support the current policy, citing the success of the Ted Haggard case. "After only 3 weeks of counseling, Ted is now 100% heterosexual," said a spokesperson.

"That last 5% was the hardest to lose," admitted Haggard.