Grade-school Jokes

The grade-school principal dropped into the new third-grade teacher's room to see how she was adjusting to her first day of school. "There is one problem," she said. "That little boy in the first row belongs in second grade, but insists on remaining here, and he's so smart I hate to send him back."
"He can't be that smart," said the principal. "Ask him something."
The teacher called the boy forward and inquired, "What does a dog do on three legs that a man does on two legs that I do sitting down?"
"Shakes hands," said the boy.
"What has a cow got four of that I have only two of?" she went on.
"Legs," the boy replied,
"What is a four-letter word meaning intercourse?" she continued.
"Talk," he answered.
The teacher turned to the principal. "Well, what should I do?"
He drew her aside and whispered, "Better promote him to the more...

Early last week, a 36-year-old grade-school science teacher arrived at school and was unlocking her classroom when she was shot. She was seriously wounded but survived, and at the hospital, she described the shooter as a 19 or 20 year old Hispanic man and said she'd received threatening letters from an anonymous man recently, but had no idea who he was or why he was threatening her. This was the top news story for two days.

++ Now, there are *two* absurd aspects to this story. Number one: As soon as someone discovered the woman had been shot, the school was evacuated and SWAT team members and other authorities were swarming all over the place. All the people evacuated were adult employees of the school, as it was too early in the morning for the kids to be there. The evacuees were herded onto a school bus and, without being given details on what the hell was going on, they were rushed at top speed to........... counseling! We just about fell off our chairs laughing when we more...