County Jokes / Recent Jokes

It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. Las Vegas: It's against the law to pawn your dentures.It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property. Clark County: An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time. Elko: Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask. Eureka: Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women. Nyala: A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day. In Eureka: Men who have mustaches are forbidden from kissing women.

While visiting the livestock exhibit at a county fair with her husband, the overbearing wife asked one of the bull breeders how many times a week his animals performed their stud function.
"Oh, about four or five times," replied the owner.
Turning to her husband with a scornful look, she said, "You see, four or five times a week is not unusual among champions."
Realizing that he had contributed to the woman's abuse of her husband, the breeder quickly added, "Of course, we never use the same cow twice."

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his cola, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.

One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.

The other man came along behind and filled in the hole.

While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road.

"I can't stand this," said the man, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.

"Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you more...

A young reporter was sent on his first assignment.
He sent in the following report to the office -
"Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with cuts on her breasts."
The editor scolded the new reporter, "This is a family paper. we don't use words like 'breasts' around here. Go back and write something more appropriate!"
The young reporter thought for a few minutes, and finally sent in this report -
"Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with cuts on her ( . ) ( . )."

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment. He submitted the following report to his editor. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts." The Editor scolded the new reporter, "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!" The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her (. )(. ) "

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" "Well, we work for the county government, " one of the men said. "But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?" "You don't understand, more...

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his cola, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road.
"I can't stand this," said the man, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.
"Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"
"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.
"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"
"You don't more...