Courtyard Jokes

Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle anda banner that said 'N I L'. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymnsto The Great Nullity, The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero inthe Sky. Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered,... "Is Nothing Sacred?"

While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.

"Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

"So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen.

The guide replied, "One."

It's Friday afternoon and the boss calls his salesman into the office and says that today they could close the big deal he's been working on. But it means the salesman must drive to Birmingham immediately.
Feeling lucky, the salesman immediately jumps in his car an sets of up the M1. He's making very good progress when, all of a sudden, his car breaks down. After having a look, he can see he will need assistance.
He tries the emergency phone - but it's broken. Then he attempts to flag down a passing motorist, but being Friday, they don't care and keep screaming past in their efforts to get home for the weekend.
So he sets of over the fields for help. After a while he comes across a high security double fence in the middle of know where, which he is forced to go around. There are 'Keep Out' and 'Government Property' signs everywhere and guard dogs between the fences.
Shortly he arrives at the entrance gate to the establishment. He asks the guard if he can use the phone. more...