Cracked Jokes / Recent Jokes

Woo-hoo... check out these letters from tenants to landlords!"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. ""Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.. .. " "The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?" "Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an old page pensioner and need it straight away." "I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen." "This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door. ""The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous." "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall." "Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it." "Will you please send a man to look more...

There were three American pilots captured by Germans in WWII. The Germans thought up a way to make the pilots crack and tell what they knew. They made them stand at attention, turn their heads from side to side and say, "Tick - Tock" over and over.

After about three hours, the first pilot cracked and started telling all he knew, signing everything they put in front of
him. An hour later, the second pilot cracked and started confessing to things that he didn't even do.The third pilot was fighting hard not to crack. He was about half-way cracked. He was turning his head to one side only and saying, "Tick...Tick...Tick..." The German officer in charge went up to him and said, "You thinks you iss so schmart! But I'm telling you dot vee haf vays to make you TOCK!"

Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off.
This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.
The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?
I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.
I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.
Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.
Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and not more...

Question: If a rooster laid an egg on the top of a barn, which way would it roll?
Answer: Neither, roosters don't lay eggs.Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: Because the rooster egged her on.Question: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Answer: It's not all it's "cracked" up to be! Question: Why can't you tease egg whites?
Answer: They can't take a yolk.Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Omelette.
Omelette who?
Omelette smarter than I look! Question: What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
Answer: An eggs-plorer!Question: What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
Answer: New Yolk City! Question: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
Answer: It cracks up! Question: What do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?
Answer: Deviled eggs! Question: Why did the chicken lay an egg?
Answer: Because it would break if she dropped it! Question: Where did the chicken go on her more...

Question: If a rooster laid an egg on the top of a barn, which way would it roll?
Answer: Neither, roosters don't lay eggs.
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: Because the rooster egged her on.
Question: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Answer: It's not all it's "cracked" up to be!
Question: Why can't you tease egg whites?
Answer: They can't take a yolk.
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Omelette.
Omelette who?
Omelette smarter than I look!
Question: What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
Answer: An eggs-plorer!
Question: What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
Answer: New Yolk City!
Question: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
Answer: It cracks up!
Question: What do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?
Answer: Deviled eggs!
Question: Why did the chicken lay an egg?
Answer: Because it would break if she dropped more...