Crashing Jokes

The Pope, a hippie, and George Bush were all on a plane that was crashing. The pilots had already jumped to safety and there were only two parachutes left. Without a moment's hesitation, Bush grabbed a pack, yelled "I'm the most powerful man in the universe! I have to survive!", and jumped from the plane.
The Pope, being the generous man that he is, said to the hippie, "You go ahead and take the last parachute. I'm an old man and I have lived a very full life."
The hippie thanked the Pope but said, "Don't worry - we'll both be fine. The most powerful man in the universe just jumped off the plane with my backpack."

Mel. Barbie Girl
Hi user, wanna go for a try?
Sure win!
Boot up!
I'm a Windows girl
In my Windows world
Life in coding
It's annoying
You can tune my files
Explore me everywhere
Imagination
Illegal operation
Come on System, let's go crashing
I'm a Windows girl
In my Windows world
Life in coding
It's annoying
You can tune my files
Explore me everywhere
Imagination
Illegal operation
I'm a prog, I'm a code
on a supermachine
when I crash,
Boot me up, and go crazy
I'm your pain,
boot me up, and start over again
Run a prog, see the fail
Just delete me
You can touch, i can hang,
like i say, just boot again
I'm a Windows girl
In my Windows world
Life in coding
It's annoying
You can tune my files
Explore me everywhere
Imagination
Illegal operation
Come on System, let's go crashing (boot, boot, bo-ot)
Come on System, let's go crashing more...

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the more...

What do you say to a busload of lawyers crashing over a five hundred foot cliff? Got room for one more?

Home > Jokes > Celebrity Jokes > Crashing Supermodels
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Crashing Supermodels
Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces: "We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing - assume the brace position immediately!"
Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face.
Bewildered, Naomi and Cindy ask: "What in the hell are you doing fixing your make-up when we are about to freaking crash!"
Claudia responds: I know for a fact the rescue workers will search for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces- which is why I am putting on my make-up."
Cindy more...