Creepy Jokes

Confessed killer and creepy pervert, John Mark Karr, may just be a creepy pervert. Authorities are begining to doubt his confession, some have even called it a vain publicity stunt. Questions are begining to surround the case. Questions like, how does a creepy, blue shirt pervert get past the interview for a teaching job? How could he be in Colorado, when his ex-wife, whom he married when she was 16, says he was Alabama. And why do we allow states like Alabama to let 16 year old girls marry creepy, blue shirt perverts.
Even Jon Ramsey, Jonbenet's father expressed his doubts about Karr. "That's funny", said Ramsey, "I don't remember him being there when I was killing our daughter."

"Rejected Holiday Specials"
As presented on the 12/10/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
"Gallagher Smashes Melons in Bethlehem"
"A Creepy, Creepy Christmas with Michael Jackson"
Fox TV's "When Reindeer Attack!"
"A Country Holiday with Martha Stewart and a Bunch of Actors Pretending to Be Her Family"
"The Grinch Who Nailed Mrs. Claus"
"Christmas at Riker's Island: It's A Wonderful 10-Years-to-Life"
"Bob Dole Remembers the Very First Christmas"
"Skunk 'n' Gator's Holiday Fiesta"
"The President Who Ate Christmas"
"Richard Simmons' Fruitcake Extravaganza"

"Rejected Holiday Specials"
As presented on the 12/10/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN "Gallagher Smashes Melons in Bethlehem" "A Creepy, Creepy Christmas with Michael Jackson" Fox TV's "When Reindeer Attack!" "A Country Holiday with Martha Stewart and a Bunch of Actors Pretending to Be Her Family" "The Grinch Who Nailed Mrs. Claus" "Christmas at Riker's Island: It's A Wonderful 10-Years-to-Life" "Bob Dole Remembers the Very First Christmas" "Skunk' n' Gator's Holiday Fiesta" "The President Who Ate Christmas" "Richard Simmons' Fruitcake Extravaganza"

So John Mark Karr was arrested in the murder of JonBenet Ramsey.

He was creepy and old and she was creepy and six and it's all over the news and you can read about it there and I don't much feel like talking about it.

Well, except this:

Apparently, John Mark Karr has been married twice. And the first time he was married was to a thirteen year old girl.

I find this horrifying.

Because, all moral judgments aside, have you ever MET a thirteen year old girl?

*I* have and, frankly, I'd rather watch four-hundred-seventy-two episodes of "Webster" while being stabbed in the eye with a ballpoint pen than be forced to spend an extended period of time with one.

I would think that about forty-five minutes of "Omigod! Did you hear what Jenni told Amber that Kaitlin told Trever about YOU?" and "Well, do you like me or do you like like me?" would cure anyone of their pedophilia.

Apparently true...

Why we have AQIS Australian Quarantine Inspection Service - creepy. Apparently its completely true.

This bloke and his family were on holiday in the States and went to Mexico for a week. As he is an avid cactus fan he bought a rare and expensive cactus there, it was about a metre high and cost about $500 Aus. He got it home and the customs people were none too impressed so they said it must stay in quarantine for 3 months, cost $800 or so.

He finally got his cactus home and planted it in his backyard where over time it grew to about 2 metres or so in height.

One evening after a beautiful warm spring day he was out watering his garden and thought he might give the cactus a light spray. This he did and was amazed to see the plant shiver all over, he gave it another light spray and it shivered and shook again. All its arms moved. He was puzzled so he rang the council who put him on to the state gardens.

After a few more...