Criminal Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two teens were found naked and smoking a joint in the middle of the town's park. They were both arrested for indecent exposure and possession of marijuana and taken to the town's jail. The arresting officer was unable to reach either parent, so he advised them they were entitled to one phone call.
A while later, a man entered the station. As he was approaching the desk, the Sergeant said to him, "I assume you're the kids' lawyer."
"Heck, no," the man replied. "I'm here to deliver their pizza."
What was the parrot doing in prison? It was a jail-bird!
Why are burglars such good tennis players? Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!
What do you call a robbery in China? A Chinese take away!
A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time.A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line, "From...guess who?"The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets:"Now you know!"
What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar? Robbery with violets!