Critics Jokes

Michigan's Secretary of State is under fire for recalling a "vanity" auto license plate that was deemed offensive.
The plate reads "4 RU486", a reference to the "French" abortion-inducing drug. Critics of the action point out that other vanity plates which could be considered offensive, such as CAL-GIRL, GSPOT, HORNY, HUMP, I124Q, JUGS and NADS, have not been recalled.
Then there's Theresa Watt; she's had her name on her plate for 20 years: TWATT.
A state spokeswoman said that 4 RU486 was recalled under the "illegal activity or substance" portion of the license plate law, but the critics retort that neither RU486 nor abortion is illegal. (AP)
... Nor is it illegal to be horny, to have a G-spot.

To My Critics
When I am in a sober mood
I worry, work and think
When I am in a drunken mood
I gamble, fight and drink
But when all my moods are over
And the world has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down
So the world can kiss my ass

Picasso's mistress was losing her eyesight so he took her to an opthomologist in Paris. Upon examination, the doctor reported that nothing could be done and she would soon become blind. Picasso then sought out the best eye doctor in all of France, but got the same prognosis. He even took her to the best doctor in all of Europe, to no avail.
He then decided to take her for a trip around the world so that she could see the sights before totally losing eyesight. They were in San Francisco when they saw a sign reading "Sam Smith-Eye Doctor, Free Consultation". Picasso figured that it couldn't do any harm to try this doctor as she was going to be blind anyway.
After a thorough examination, Dr. Smith reported that when he did an operation in cases like hers that it would cure her. Picasso agreed to have the operation performed.
After the operation and a few weeks of recovery, the doctor removed the bandages, and what do you know, she could see 20/20. Picasso was more...

What's this summer's hottest movie? Mission Impossible 3? Get real, not with that gay Tom Cruise fellow in the movie. Superman Returns? Blue tights, red bikini briefs, Kevin Spacey. Gay, gay, gay. Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest? What are you high? What's $784,000,000 gross worldwide when compared to Kim Jong-Il's masterpiece "Diary of a Student Girl". Written by Kim Jong-Il, directed by Kim Jong-Il, and staring as the student girl, Kim Jong-Il.
Critics in Pyongyang are calling it a masterpiece, playing to full houses every single day. Here's what some critics have said:
"Dairy of a Student Girl is great. Shoot me if I'm lying."
"Whoever doesn't see this movie is a traitor to the state. Seriously, if you don't see this movie, we'll kill you."
"I give this movie 4 stars. I would give it more, but our blessed leader has forbidden me to do so. He is as humble as he is talented."
"I would give it two thumbs up, more...

There was an old man, a boy, and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk. The old man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such a small boy walk. The two decided that maybe they both should walk. Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride. The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so, they decided that they both should ride. They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal. The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and more...