Cubicle Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Priest had been in confessions all day without a break. He really had to take a dump, and his blatter was about to burst because he hadn't been able to relieve himself all day. People kept coming to confess and the line was backed up already and he hated to leave. But he peeked out of his cubicle and signaled the janitor to come over. He asked the janitor to cover for him and gave him the confessions book then sped off in the direction of the bathroom. The janitor was a little bewildered but he went into the cubicle and sat down. A woman came knelt in front of his window and said, "Father I have sinned. I cheated on my husband." The janitor scanned in the book until he found "adultery". He told the woman to say 50 "Hail Mary's" and wash in holy water. Next came a man who told the janitor, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I had oral sex with another man." The janitor looked and looked but he couldn't find a penance listed for oral sex. He more...

Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the darn box all day!
Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.
Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.
That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.
Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.
23 power cords, 1 outlet.
Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.
If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you."
If your boss calls you and asks you to come into his office for a minute the walk there is like a funeral march... people hand you tissues as you pass and refuse to make eye more...

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
I'm just driving this way to get you mad.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Hang up and drive.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

When not to Fart:
1. In a crowded elevator
2. On a crowded bus
3. In a public library
4. While on a date
5. While giving a speech
6. In church
7. In a crowded classroom
8. In your office when you`re alone - someone`s bound to walk in immediately afterwards
9. In a movie theater
10. In your cubicle at work - again someone`s bound to walk in to visit
11. In a walk-in freezer - it`ll linger a while
12. In an commercial airplane
13. In a ticket line
14. In your car before picking up a family member
15. during confession
16. In bed when you`re feeling frisky
17. In a Cessna
18. While fighting fire in a burning building
19. In a patrol car for a minor violation

When to Fart:
1. In your bosses office as you are turning to leave. Tip-Make sure it`s a silent one.
2. In a bathroom
3. In a cashier`s line - it might help to speed up things
4. In an empty elevator before more...

>? My Boss had a "stroke of genius" and it killed him.
>
>? My Boss recently fired a gay employee. He called it "canning the fruit".
>
>? My Boss is a famous inventor. He created "the fluke".
>
>? Whenever "it's" going to hit the fan, my Boss makes sure I'm right down
>front.
>
>? I work in the company kitchen. My Boss said "If you ever drop food on the
>floor, just put it in the microwave for a few seconds to kill the germs.
>Then go ahead and put it on plates for the customers."
>
>? My Boss was complaining about how much time I used to take my wife to the
>doctor for her leukemia treatments. He said "You're making too much of
>this. We are all going to die sometime. Make sure your career doesn't die
>first."
>
>? We recently moved into a new building that didn't have enough space for
>our cubicles. I was told my cubicle wouldn't more...

ADAM & EVE
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't
find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were
earlier. Adam said, "This morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve
now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
THE EPIC OF THE BAKED BEAN
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always
caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them. The
reaction of his body to the beans was swift and terrible to behold.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they
would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and more...