Cushions Jokes

It's that time again... They are finally out again. You all know about the
Darwin Awards - It's an annual honour given to the person who did the gene pool
the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid
way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which
toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
And the nominees for 2001 are:
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with
milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the
fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down,
killing both him and his sister.
A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home
died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6'2" tall and
weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, more...

A police officer in Ohio responded to a call that was made to 911. She had no details before arriving except that someone was reporting that his father was not breathing.

Upon arrival, the officer found this man face down on the couch, naked. When she rolled him over to check for a pulse and to start CPR if necessary she noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man (who was and still is dead) the police made a closer inspection of the couch and noticed that the man had made a hole between the cushions.

After flipping the couch over they discovered what caused his death. Apparently the man would put his penis between the cushions, down into the hole and between 2 ELECTRIC SANDERS (with out the sand paper obviously).

According to the story, after he had his orgasm the, ahem, discharge shorted out the sander electrocuting him to death.