Cute Jokes / Recent Jokes
by Every guy in America: 1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet UP when you are done. 2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to includesomething from each of the four major male food groups: * ** Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red. * **3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall. 4. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt. 5. Shopping is not fascinating. 6. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking. 7. Unless the answer is yes. 8. In which case, can he videotape it? 9. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes. 10. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill. 11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny. 12. Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada. 13. Any more...
A man was carrying two babies, one in each arm while waiting for a train.
Along came this woman and seeing the two cute babies started asking the man, "Aren't they cute, what is their names?"
The man, giving the lady an angry look, replied, "I don't know."
The lady asked, "Which is a boy and which is a girl?"
The man looking angrier than before replied, "I don't know."
The woman then started to scold the man, "What kind of a father are you?"
The man replied, "I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are two complaints that I am taking back to my company!"
What did the baby bird say to the mommy bird when she only gave him half of a worm?
A- Cheap Cheap
Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box, kid?" The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens." Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?" "Democrats," the child says. "Oh, that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off. A couple of days later, Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead. Al says to Bill, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Al says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are." The boy replies, "They're Republicans." "Whoa!" Al says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What's up?" "Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open more...
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, You're beautiful! and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said You're cute! Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of beautiful it was cute. She said What happened to beautiful? His reply was The drugs are wearing off!
There once was a dog who married a chicken what was their baby??
Answer) a pooched egg!!!