Cycle Jokes / Recent Jokes

One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.
Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:
"Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad."

I think the life cycle is all backwards
You should start out dead and get it out of the way.
Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.

Two pandits riding on a cycle were stopped by a Sardarji constable."Don't you know riding on with pillon is forbidden in Punjab?" asked the constable, " I am going to fine you."
The pandits pleaded their innocence of the rules but he refused to let them go. Very exasperated the pandit who was driving the cycle replied, "All right, God is with us. Do what you like." " In that case, I'll fine you for having two on the pillion behind you".

The Life Cycle of Software

Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren`t really bugs. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn`t work and discovers 15 new bugs. See 3. See 4. See 5. See 6. See 7. See 8. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product announcement based on over-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released. Users find 137 new bugs. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer more...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.
What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.
You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
You finish off as an orgasm.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough.
It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it?
A death.
What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.
You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alchohol, you party, you get ready for high school.
You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
you finish off as an orgasm.

Once a Sardarji from the countryside brought his pregnant wife to. a doctor for sex determination test. After the check-up doctor told Sardarji "Kuch nahin hei. Keval hava hei" (It is nothing but gas). The Sardarji got terribly annoyed and said, "Kya saala tum sochte ho ki mein keval cycle pump hun." (What do you think, I am only a cycle pump?)