Cyclist Jokes / Recent Jokes

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard. "Sand," said the cyclist. "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smu ggling?" "Bicycles!"

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard.

"Sand," said the cyclist.

"Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard.

The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.

Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.

A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?" more...

The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. -"What do you mean by lucky? " The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad." -"Ah, youre lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."

At the first hole on a golf course, a man tees off and hits a hard drive, but the ball hooks badly and goes off the course entirely. The man figures it’s a lost ball, puts another ball down and starts again.

He plays nine holes when a policeman comes up to him:

“Sir, did you lose a ball a while back? ”

“Yes, I did. Why? ”

“Well, sir, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you. You see, your ball struck a cyclist, causing him to swerve right into the path of an oncoming bus. The bus hit the cyclist and then rammed head-on into a truck coming from the opposite direction. At the moment the casualties are twenty-one dead and we don’t know how many injured. ”

The man says, “Oh, this is dreadful! …. I … I had no idea…. is there anything I can do? ”

“Well, sir, the next time you want to hold the club a little more to the right, like this…”

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his
shoulders.
"What's in the bags?" "Sand," said the cyclist. "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across
the border.
Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every weeks for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.
A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy," said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?"
"Bicycles!"

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard.
"Sand," said the cyclist.
"Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard.
The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.
Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.
A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?" "Bicycles!"

The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. -"What do you mean by lucky? " The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad." -"Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."