Darling Jokes / Recent Jokes

Darling, she whispered after they had finished making love, "Will you still make love like that to me after we're married ?"He considered this for a moment, and then replied, "I think so. I've always been especially fond of married women."

December 14, 2003Dearest Dave, I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling! With truly the deepest love, AgnesDecember 15, 2003Dearest Dave, Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.With all of my love, Your AgnesDecember 16, 2003Dearest Dave, You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised-what more should I expect from such a nice person.Love, AgnesDecember 17, 2003Dear Dave, Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.Affectionately, AgnesDecember 18, 2003Dearest darling Dave, It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for more...

An original of mine.
A business man is packing for a trip. He glances in his
briefcase, then calls to his wife.
"Honey."
"Yes, darling?" she replies.
"Honey," he says, in mild exasperation, "why do you persist
in putting a condom in my briefcase every time I go on a trip?
You know I only have eyes for you. I'd never be unfaithful."
"Oh, I know, darling, and I trust you," she replies sweetly,
"It's just that, well you know, with all those terrible diseases
out there, it would make me feel better to know that if anything
did happen, you'd be protected. So please, darling, take it with
you, won't you? For my sake?"
"Oh, alright, if you put it that way," he relented, "I'll do
it for you. But for heaven's sake, give me more than ONE!"

Dear Darling Son (and That Person You Married),
Merry Christmas to you, and please don’t worry. I’m just fine considering I can’t breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I’ve sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you’ll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they’ll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me - we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come.
Well son, it’s time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don’t you worry about more...

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language)
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling".
But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence more...

Two friends, Tony and Timmy, did not memorize the poems they needed to learn for their class. Due to this, their teacher scolded them. When they got home that night, they got to work memorizing the poems. Timmy memorized his poem well, but Tony did not like the subject of his poem and became frustrated. He goes to his mom who is working in the kitchen. "Mom, do you know any poems?"
"Just shut up!" she snaps at him. Tony writes, "Just shut up" on a piece of paper. He then goes to his dad who is busy working in his home office. "Dad, do you know any poems?"
"Just throw that in the dustbin," his dad mutters. Tony writes, "Just throw that in the dustbin," on the paper. He goes to his older brother who is watching his favorite movie, "Superman" on the television. "Michael, do you know any poems?"
"Superman!" he shouts angrily at his brother. Tony writes, "Superman" on the piece more...

Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)
One day, he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes) and fell madly in love with her. With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.
At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking.
Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. more...