Darling Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, "Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello. Darling, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don't want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse, I want all the information from top to bottom, from A to Z."The voice on the other end of the line said, "Would you hold the line, please, that's a very unusual request."Finally a very authoritative voice came on and said, "Are you the lady who is calling about one of the patients?"She said, "Yes, darling! I'd like to know the information about Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."He said, "Finkel. Finkel. Let me see. Feinberg, Farber-Finkel. Oh yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, and if she continues this way, her doctor is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! She's more...
My Darling Son Letter!
Dearest Darling Son and That Person You Married,
Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry about poor old me. I'm just fine considering I can't breathe, or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your lonely ailing mother.
I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my Grandchildren. Lord knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies. But then, I guess you two do save a lot of money shopping for their clothes at the Salvation Army surplus stores and all.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me - we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral, so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live more...
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1. 5 ltr.
To my darling husband
Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not to bad and I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry but I know with your kind hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweet heart. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
BOY: Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
GIRL: Why not? ?
BOY: I'm broke.
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BOY: May I hold your hand??
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
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GIRL: Did you miss me while I was away??
BOY: Were you away??
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GIRL: Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY: What time was it??
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GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...
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GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??
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GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the more...
There once was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. He could, however, save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was permitted to speak two words. This was well before the time of letter writing or sign language.
One day he met a Princess who had luscious ruby lips, long golden hair and sapphire eyes, and he immediately fell in love. With the greatest of difficulty, he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he would be able to look at her and say, "My darling." However, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her he loved her. Because of this, he waited an additional three years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to five.
At the end of the five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years without more...