Darling Jokes / Recent Jokes

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What's your name?" he asked the new guy.
"Andy," the new guy replied.
"Now, look," the manager scowled, "I don't know what kind of unprofessional place you worked in before, but I don't call anyone by his or her first name. It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last names only-Smith, Turner, Baker-that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Stott. So now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is Andy Darling."
"Okay, Andy, now the next thing I want to tell you is..."

The soldier had been in training for six weeks before he was finally given leave.
"Darling, "he wrote to his wife,' Til be arriving at the airport on Sunday. But let me warn you: You'd better reserve a hotel room nearby."
Just before he left, the soldier received this note from his wife: "Darling," it said, "I'll be there to meet you. But let me warn you: You'd better be the first guy off the plane."

A couple were in bed after celebrating their golden anniversary. The wife Said, "Darling, embrace me the way you used to when we first got Married." He did.
"Now kiss me the way you used to..."
"Now darling, bite me the way you used to."
At this point the husband got out of bed and the wife said, "Where are you going dear?"
"To get my teeth, dear," the husband replied.

There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll.
He brought her back to the States and they were very happy.
He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she had. Every day it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Every night it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have."
Well his birthday was getting close and she wanted to surprise him with a tattoo on her rear end that said, "Beautiful Butt."
So she finds a reputable tattoo artist and explains what she wants. Well the artist asks her to turn around and after a brief pause says, "There is no way I can get "Beautiful Butt" on your tiny little beautiful butt." But I can put a nice "B" on each cheek which will stand for "Beautiful Butt."
A bit disappointed, she agrees and leaves with her B's.
Well the big day arrives more...

A couple were in bed after celebrating their golden anniversary. The wife Said, "Darling, embrace me the way you used to when we first got Married." He did."Now kiss me the way you used to...""Now darling, bite me the way you used to."At this point the husband got out of bed and the wife said, "Where are you going dear?""To get my teeth, dear," the husband replied.

The manager of a large office noticed one of his department heads had hired a new man, so the boss called him into his office for a little orientation speech. "What is your name?" he asked.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last names only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."

A woman and her lover are in bed, when there's a knock on the door.
She says, "It must be my husband! Ok, I'll handle this."
She grabs the trash bin, opens the door and, smiling sweetly, says to her husband, "Darling, please empty the trash."
While he is out, the other man escapes and walks back home.
He thinks, "She is sooo smart, unlike my wife."
He comes up to his door and knocks, his wife opens the door, and hands him the trash bin, saying, "Darling, please empty the trash bin."
He carries the basket, thinking, "What a stupid bitch! The whole damn day at home, and can't find some time to empty the trash!"