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When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big boobs.
In high school, I dated a girl with big boobs, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.
In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.
I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was without direction.
So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned.
Now all I want is a girl with big boobs!!

You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office.

John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She`s a lot better in bed than my wife!"
Two days later.

George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!

This quiz has been around for ages. Remember the answers?

1. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA and Canada, where should the survivors be buried?

2. How many species of each animal did Moses take aboard the ark?

3. How many months have 28 days?

4. How far can a bear walk into the woods?

5. What is the value of coin dated 24 B.C.?

6. How many grooves does a 45rpm phonograph record have?

7. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then 1 mile east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 mile north to arrive at her camp. What color is the bear?

8. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof, will the egg roll to the left side or to the right side?

9. If a south bound electric train is traveling at a rate of 66 miles per hour and the wind is blowing to the north at 35 miles per hour, which way will the smoke blow?

10. On which side of a chicken are the most more...

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I dated a girl, but there was no passion.

So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, and she cried all the time and threatened suicide.

So I decided I needed a girl with some stability. I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.

Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.

So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. I found a smart, ambitious more...

Three old men were sitting on a bench in a park, when a reporter approached them.
"I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell us your secret to long life," the reporter asked.
The three old men agreed. The first old man was asked his secret to his long life.
"I'm teetotaler, I never smoked tobacco and I have been married to the same woman for fifty years."
"Wow, that's really remarkable!" said the reporter. "What's your age?"
"I'm 95," said the man.
The second man was asked the same question on his secret to long life.
"I drank on occasion, I smoked, but not often and I dated some."
"And how old are you?" asked the reporter.
"I'm 90," said the old man.
Finally, the reporter approached the third old man and asked his secret to a long life.
"I dated every woman that would go out with me, I drank until I passed out and I smoked three more...

When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts. In high school, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability. I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned. Now all I want is a girl with large breasts!