Dates Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bill is almost 29 years old, his friends have already gotten married, and Bill just dates and dates.Finally a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?""No," Bill replies. "I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my Mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!""Listen," his friend suggests, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear old Mother?"Many weeks go by and again Bill and his friend get together. "So Bill. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?"Bill shrugs his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became fast friends.""So are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not, my Father can't stand her!"
Q: Why do men pay for dates?
A: Because women have to pay for the wedding.
Two girls were roommates.One evening, Millie came running in, shedding clothes on the way to the bathroom.She yelled, "Hurry up Tillie, get ready for our date!"Tillie didn't know anything about the date and said so.Millie explained that she'd met two really great looking guys and had made dates for both of them for that evening.Tillie said, "I'm not going out on any more blind dates.""Why not?""They're always the same," said Tillie, "It's sex, sex, sex! Nothing but a pain in the ass!"Millie looked at her in disbelief and exclaimed, "Honey, you're doing it wrong!"
Best Friend to Former Fat Guy: Hey man, you're looking good. Looks like you lost lots of pounds. Any secrets?
Former Fat Guy: Eating dates.
Best Friend: Oh yeah? I've read that compared to other foods, dates have the highest anti-oxidant values. How much and how many times a week do you eat dates?
Former Fat Guy: Oh just one date every week-end. I eat first before I fuck.
Bill is almost 29 years old, his friends have already gotten married, and Bill just dates and dates. Finally a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Bill replies. "I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my Mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!""Listen," his friend suggests, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear old Mother?" Many weeks go by and again Bill and his friend get together. "So Bill. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?" Bill shrugs his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became fast friends." "So are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not, my Father can't stand her!"