Dating Jokes / Recent Jokes
During a conversation with a kindly old minister, the young man asked, "Is it really such a sin to sleep with a girl?"
"Oh, no," answered the minister, "but you young boys-you don't sleep."
Last summer a friend of ours vacationed at a popular resort where he met a young and charming girl. She prided herself on being a good sport and demonstrated this by enjoying just about everything with our friend-dining, dancing, swimming, tennis, horseback riding, motoring-just about everything, in short, except that special enjoyment he was really interested in.
"Oh, come on," he entreated, "you're always saying what a good sport you are- Why draw the line at this?" Appealing to her sense of good sportsmanship finally turned the trick, and the last evening of their vacation was the most enjoyable of all.
Back on the job, our friend had almost forgotten the incident when, just a week ago, the phone rang.
"Do you know who this is?" a sweet, feminine voice asked.
He didn't, of course. "The girl from the lake this summer," she said. "The good sport."
She said she had something important to tell him and wanted to more...
The couple was afloat in a canoe when a sudden thunder squall flashed across the lake. "Oh Lord," the young man prayed, "save us and I'll give up smoking and drinking. . . I'll give up betting on the ponies. . . I'll give up-"
Above the noise of the thunder came the girl's earnest plea: "Don't promise to give up everything, George! Paddle!"
Don't Forget to read the "Fine Print"
PRE-RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENT:
The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him") being of sound mind and a bit overweight body:
1) FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship (colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active relationships with anyone else that have not yet terminated. Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a more...
He drank with curvy Mabel, The pace was fast and furious. He slid beneath the table- Not drunk, but merely curious. Martinis, my girl, are deceiving: Take two at the very most. Take three and you're under the table. Take four and you're under the host.
She was a gorgeous girl. And he was a loving male. He praised her shape in English, French, Italian and Braille.
A songwriter friend of ours, the same nifty word-merchant who comes up with all those jukebox hits, has turned out another catchy one: / Used to Kiss Her on the Lips, But It's All Over Now.
When Reed Harris decided to put a diamond ring in his girlfriend's milkshake as part of his proposal, he didn't expect her to swallow it because she never swallows any surprise he gives her.