Day Jokes / Recent Jokes

An incompetent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.

He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too bright and change his phony money for real cash.

He travels to a small town in West Virginia and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"

The old man replies, "I sure do...How would you like that? An 8 and a 7 or two 6s and a three?"

Memo No. 1:
Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.
Memo No. 2:
Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
Memo No. 3:
Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
Memo No. 4:
A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p. m. Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory.
Memo No. 5:
As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, the Committee On Committee's has appointed a 14-member Casual Day Task Force to prepare guidelines for proper dress.
Memo No. 6:
The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards" has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter "You Are more...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you
speak the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed more...

Along time ago when no one know about mirror. A person loves his father very much, his father was about 75 years old. His father was a farmer. One day his father was seriously ill and passed away.

After 25 years later when he was about 74 years, one day he was digging the field he got a mirror from there as no one was aware of mirror he thought that it is a pic of his father because he havent seen his own face. He took that pic in his cupboard he always before going 2 fields or after coming from the fields kiss that pic. Once her wife thought that y he open the cupboard everyday becaz it hadnt happend before. When his husband went out she opened that cupboard she saw a pic(mirror) achhaaaaa! now i understand y he looks in cupboard, oh this is the churail which he looks at everyday(as she was looking her self in the mirror ).

Chong was studying Engineering in Britain. He soon began missing his fried rice, so one day he walked into a corner Greek store to order a takeaway. But Chong had difficulty rolling his R's and stressing his L's, so when he went into the store, he said, "I want some flied lice." "What?" said the Greek store owner. "Flied lice,"repeated Chong. "Hey, listen to this!" the nasty store owner told the others in the shop. "What is it you want, sonny? Say it again." And Chong said it again, they all laughed. This happened every time Chong went into the store to order fried rice. One day, Chong decided to show them a thing or two, so he spent a whole week practicing. Confidently, he strolled into the Greek store. "Oh, it's you again. We missed you," said the store owner," said the store owner exaggeratedly. "Now what would you like?" "Fried Rice, thanks," said Chong. A stunned silence fell over the store. more...

Day 1 Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las
night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Pear tree
would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.
Day 2 Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got
was 2 scrawny pigeon.
Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.
Day 3 Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I’m tired of
eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to
Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting
rooster.
Day 4 Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez
four, what you call “calling bird” wuz so noisy you could hear dem all
da’ way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the
rest of dem to the gators.
Day 5 Dear Emile, You finally sent more...

One day Santa told Banta that Hindustan & Bharat are on war.
Banta replied but we live in India