Deacon Jokes / Recent Jokes

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer, so the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
"I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register."
"Well," interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them?"
"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown.
"However, you sent us golf pencils; each stamped with the words, 'Play Golf Next Sunday.'"

The head priest at a certain church was out for the day, so he asked the deacon to do confession for him.
The deacon agrees, and the first person that comes says, "Forgive me, for I just gave a guy a blow job."
He says, "You have sinned."
Then he looks at the sheet on the wall that had punishments for certain sins on it, but blow job was not on there, so he went out to ask one of the altar boys what he usually gives for a blow job.
The altar boy answered, "Oh, about five dollars."

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office
supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. “I'll tell you why,” shouted Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for
visitors to register.”“Well,” interrupted the dealer, “didn't you receive them yet?”“Oh, we received them all right,” replied Deacon Brown. “However, you sent us some golf pencils...each stamped with the words, ‘Play Golf Next Sunday.’”

The head priest at a certain church was out for the day, so he asked the deacon to do confession for him. The deacon agrees, and the first person that comes says, "Forgive me, for I just gave a guy a blow job." He says, "You have sinned."

Then he looks at the sheet on the wall that had punishments for certain sins on it, but blow job was not on there, so he went out to ask one of the altar boys what he usually gives for a blow job. The altar boy answered, "Oh, about five dollars."

A Baptist deacon notice the Pastor was agitated one Sunday morning so he asked what was wrong. Turned out some one had stolen the preacher's bicycle. So the deacon said preach the ten commandments and when you get to the one about "thou shalt not steal" really bear down hard and maybe the thief will hear about it and return your bike. So the preacher preached. But he didn't emphasize any one commandment more than the others. After the sermon his deacon buddy asked why he didn't emphasize the one on stealing. The reverend said "When I got to "thou shalt not commit adultery" I remembered where I left my bike."

The head priest at a certain church was out for the day, so he asked the deacon to do confession for him. The deacon agrees, and the first person that comes says, "Forgive me, for I just gave a guy a blow job."
He says, "You have sinned." Then he looks at the sheet on the wall that had punishments for certain sins on it, but blow job was not on there, so he went out to ask one of the altar boys what he usually gives for a blow job.
The altar boy answered, "Oh, about five dollars."

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.

"I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register."

"Well, interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?"

"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown.

"However, you sent us some golf pencils... each stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday.'"