Deaf Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three slightly deaf old ladies walking down the road: "Windy today." "No it's Thursday." "You better come in for a cup of tea then."
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were' protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where the money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" r The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're more...
if a deaf person swears does his parents wash his hands
One day a certain lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his flashing lights. She thought to herself, "Uh-oh, what have I done now? I'm not speeding. I'm not drinking. I have my seat belt on! I have kept up my license dues and everything!"
So, she pulled over and the police car pulled over to the side right behind her car. She drove her car slowly to a stop, slowly rolled down the window, and prepared for a ticket when she knew she didn't deserve it. A policeman walked up to her window, and spoke to her. The lady pointed to her ear and shook her head, meaning she was deaf. The policeman smiled slightly, and knowing sign language, signed back, "I know. I'm here to tell you that your horn is stuck."
A man was about to tee off on the golf course when he felt a tap on his shoulder and a man handed him a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please?" The first man angrily gave the card back, and communicated that "No, he may NOT play through, and that his handicap did not give him such a right." The first man whacked the ball onto the green and left to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball, laying him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other holding up 4 fingers.
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting."
Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job.
If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40, 000.
He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place.
The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someo of their hoods after the deaf collector.
The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is.
The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.
The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."
The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"
The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The more...