Deaf Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.
A partially deaf gentleman was extolling the virtues of his new hearing aid. "It's marvelous," he enthused to a friend. "Since I acquired it I can hear the birds chirping on the hearth. I can also hear clearly a conversation being held in an apartment a full block away!""You don't say," said his friend. "What kind is it?" The proud owner consulted his wristwatch and answered, "Twenty minutes after two."
In Miami, a deaf Iraqi girl had surgery which allowed her to hear words for the first time ever. She's headed back to Iraq, where the next word she's expected to hear is "incoming!"
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldnt stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just dont listen. How do you do that? Says the other. Its easy! I turn off the light!
One Day Three Deaf Ladies Went For Picnic.
1st Deaf Lady: Windy.
2nd Deaf Lady: No, It Is Not Wenesday, It Is Thursday.
3rd Deaf Lady: Yes, We Are Thirsty.. Why Don't We Go To Restaurant And Get A Drink.
Did you hear about the queer deaf mute? - Neither did he.
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book-keeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This book-keeper is deaf and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to shake down the book-keeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the book-keeper: "Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks the book-keeper where the money is hidden.
The book-keeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you'retalking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the book-keeper's temple, cocks it up and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney more...