Deaf Jokes / Recent Jokes
The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police, they decided to use a deaf person for the job. That way, should he get caught, he would be unable to communicate to the police what he was doing.
During his first week on the job, the deaf collector picks up over $60,000. He quickly becomes greedy, decides to keep the money and hides it in a safe place. Realizing that their collection is late, the mafia sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf man and ask him where the money is. Since the deaf collector is unable to communicate with them, they drag him to an interpreter.
The mafia hood tells the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs "Where's the money?" to the deaf man.
The deaf man signs back, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The interpreter says to the hood, "He more...
There were three men. One of them was deaf.
Then they came across a old man. He said that soon they would come across a magic slide and when they slid down the magic slide they could wish for whatever they wanted the most. So they walked along until they came to the slide. The first man slid down it and said gold and found gold at the bottom.
The second man said silver and found silver at the bottom. The deaf man just went down the slide and said wwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeee!!!
A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist and cannot see condoms on the shelf.
Frustrated, the deaf mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter and puts down a five dollar bill next to it.
The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf mute, then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language.
"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."
One day at a school for the deaf (hearing impaired), they decide to have one of the students lead a pep rally for the football team. Here's how it went.
Rally leader: What are we gonna do?
Ralliers: Defeat them!
RL: I can't hear you!
R: Defeat them!
RL: I can't hear you!
R: Defeat them!
RL: I can't hear you!
R: Defeat them!
RL: I can't hear you!
Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before. The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."
The second deaf man signed back, "Boy you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me hell for being out so late."
The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?"
The second man replied, "I turned out the light."
This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and more...