Decks Jokes

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah my old friend, I want you to make me a new Ark."
Noah replies, "No problem God, me old supreme being, anything you want after all you're the boss!"
But God interrupts, "Ah but there's a catch this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other."
"20 DECKS!" screams Noah, "Well, ok, whatever you say, should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well... sort of right. This time I just want you to fill it up with fish." God answers.
"Fish?" queries Noah.
"Yep, fish. Well, I'll make it more specific Noah, I want Carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling, Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies, "OK, let me get this right. You want a new Ark?"
"Check."
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"
"Check."
"And you want more...

In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the more...

Ever wonder where the word "shit" comes from. Well here it is:

Certain types of manure used to be transported (as everything was back then) by ship. In dry form it weighs a lot less, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could(and did) happen, methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern. BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was discovered what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure where always stamped with the term "S. H. I. T" on them which meant to the sailors to "Ship High In Transit." In other words, high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Bet you didn't more...