Carp Jokes

"Carp, and plenty of them", Noah said. "Carp. Anything else needed?" God asked. And they went through various items such as the colour, doors, windows, etc. Finally, between them both they'd come up with a design that they both agreed on. Sitting back in his chair admiring the new' ark', God asked Noah, "So, what are you going to call it? Have you thought of anything?" "Well God. I thought I'd call it' Noah's Multi-Story Carp Ark'

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah my old friend, I want you to make me a new Ark."
Noah replies, "No problem God, me old supreme being, anything you want after all you're the boss!"
But God interrupts, "Ah but there's a catch this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other."
"20 DECKS!" screams Noah, "Well, ok, whatever you say, should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well... sort of right. This time I just want you to fill it up with fish." God answers.
"Fish?" queries Noah.
"Yep, fish. Well, I'll make it more specific Noah, I want Carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling, Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies, "OK, let me get this right. You want a new Ark?"
"Check."
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"
"Check."
"And you want more...

Noah’s ark
"Noah," says the Lord, "for the next flood, I want no animals on board, just fish. And not any old fish, but only carp, in glass tanks."
"And this time," says the Lord, "think big, Eight decks at least."
"I got you," says Noah, "what you want is a multi-storey carp ark."

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "Thats the first time Ive ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."

Testers report problems with Windows TP beta
NEW YORK, Apr 1, Reuter - Microsoft's new Windows TP has a long way to go before final release, say beta testers of the product. Testers report numerous problems with the thought icons included with the product.
"I can see a fish tail representing some useful things, but the Program Manager? It's just not intuitive," says Clyde Revlon, an MIS specialist with McBalmy, Crain, and Larch. "Whoever came up with these thought icons needs therapy. I'm sure the guy's Yorkshire terrier is wonderful, but as the File Manager? A golden retriever I could understand. And that sweater the terrier is wearing, it's just too loud. Let me control the sweater."
Testers also report dangerous corruption problems with the Direct Neuron Access technology. "Colors, I smell colors. Dog, good dog, go to the light mom," said Maggie Ferreaux, a consultant with Sharp, Trenchant, and Blunt Computer Services.
Other testers more...