Deep Jokes / Recent Jokes

Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?" The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. more...

You don't know Jack Schitt!
When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story.
Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn.
Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children.
Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull.
As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt.
Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and more...

You don't know Jack Schitt! When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story.Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn.Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children.Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull.As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers.The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt.Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and together they await the birth of more...

You don't know Jack Schitt! When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story. Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn. Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children. Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull. As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt. Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and together they await the birth more...

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt, Awe Schitt the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Knee-deep Schitt Inn.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced 6 children.
Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt.
Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. Dip Schitt marries Lotta Schitt and they have a son Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt - Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt.
Bull Schitt just married a spicy little number, Pisa Schitt and they are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.

Because of popular demand, I'll continue to post Deep Thoughts until people say they don't want it anymore or I run out. I have about 6 pages, so it should last awhile.
Deep Thoughts... by Jack Handy
If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?"<
Then you say, "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
Source: LOTD archive

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt, Awe Schitt the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Knee-deep Schitt Inn.Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced 6 children.Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt. Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. Dip Schitt marries Lotta Schitt and they have a son Chicken Schitt.Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt - Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt. Bull Schitt just married a spicy little number, Pisa Schitt and they are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.