Deep Thoughts Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.2. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.4. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.5. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her.. . believe them.7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself,' Will this matter one year from
now? How about one month? One week? One day?'8. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.11. Work is good, but more...
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say' It's all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say,' That hurt, you stupid idiot?'Why is it more...
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why isn`t the number 11 pronounced onety one?