Deep Thoughts Jokes / Recent Jokes

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

1. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good. 2. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds the demand. 3. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. 4. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. 5. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both should be changed regularly and for the same reason. 6. It's easier to fight for ones' principles than to live up to them. 7. I don't mind going anywhere as long as it's an interesting path. 8. Anything free is worth what you pay for it. 9. It hurts to be on the cutting edge.10. If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.11. I don't get even, I get older.12. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.13. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.14. I am a nutritional overachiever.15. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.16. I am having an out of money experience.17. I am in shape. round is a shape.18. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.19. A day without sunshine is like more...

If at first you don`t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Aren't all questions answerable?

Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to?

Can you confuse an open mind with one that is just vacant?

Can you ever get tired of sleeping?

Could you explain what would Happen if in a Book the First Page said Everything in the Book Including the First Page was False?

Does a Bridge go Over Water or does Water go Under a Bridge?

Does a sense of humor bestow an evolutionary advantage?

Does an existentialist map have' You are here' written all over it?

Ever notice how hindsight's so much better than foresight? And do you think we'd save time if we walked in hindsight first?

Have you noticed that nostalgia isn't what it used to be?

How come things were so different before everything changed?

How many loud speakers does it take to proclaim the dropping of a pin?

If hind-sight is 20/20 does that make Heinz-sight more...