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When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like "data input" and "beta version." They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.
Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained an insider's perspective. I decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:
Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
Computer. Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger "Duffy" Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On more...

Letter of complaint from a woman to technical support dept.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5. 0 system.

In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9. 9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7. 4, NBA 3. 2 and NHL 4. 1. Conversation 8. 0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? smile. gif
Signed,
Desperate
And the answer received...
Dear Desperate:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5. 0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1. 0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6. 2. Husband 1. 0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3. 3 more...

When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like' 'data and' 'beta version.'' They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.

Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained an insider's perspective. I decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:

Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for' 'doesn't work.''

Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for' 'still doesn't work.''

Computer. Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger' 'Duffy'' Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On April 8, 1945, Adolf more...