Duffy Jokes

When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like "data input" and "beta version." They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.
Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained an insider's perspective. I decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:
Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
Computer. Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger "Duffy" Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On more...

Editor's Note: Not really all humor, unless you consider grown men in tights slapping each others asses funny...

#1. Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.
' Football is only a game.
Spiritual things are eternal.
Nevertheless, Beat Texas'

#2.' After you retire from football, there's only one big event left... and I ain't ready for that.' Bobby Bowden / Florida State

#3.' The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.' Lou Holtz / Arkansas

#4.' When you win, nothing hurts.' Joe Namath / Alabama

#5.' Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.' Lou Holtz / Arkansas

#6.' If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password,' Roll, tide, roll!' Bear Bryant / Alabama

#7.' A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.' Frank Leahy / Notre more...

Knock Knock

Who's there!

Duffy!

Duffy who?

Duffy few, the proud, the Marines!

When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like' 'data and' 'beta version.'' They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.

Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained an insider's perspective. I decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:

Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for' 'doesn't work.''

Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for' 'still doesn't work.''

Computer. Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger' 'Duffy'' Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On April 8, 1945, Adolf more...