Defendant Jokes / Recent Jokes

At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11: 45 p. m., in the locale known generally as' Lover's Lane' did the defendant have sexual relations with you? "
"Yes." whispered the girl, her head bowed.
"And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax? " the lawyer continued.
"Oh no." she replied, "I'm pretty sure he had one of them real fancy Mazdas."

Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer. Judge: And why is that? Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case. Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion? Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.

Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.

Judge: And why is that?

Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case.

Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?

Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.

At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of August 12th last, at approximately midnight, in the locale known generally as Lover's Lane, did the defendant have sexual relations with you?"
"Yes," whispered the girl, her head bowed.
"And on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, did the defendant have a climax?" the lawyer continued.
"Oh no," she replied, "I'm pretty sure he had one of them real fancy Jaguars."

At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as '' did the defendant have sexual relations with you?" "Yes," whispered the girl, her head bowed. "And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax?" the lawyer continued. "Oh no," she replied, "I'm pretty sure... he had one of them fancy Mitsubishis."

At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women: Defendant: "Your Honor, I wish to change my plea."Judge: "Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?"Defendant: "No sir, when I pleaded Not Guilty I didnt know there would be women on the jury. Since I cant even fool my wife, Ill never be able to fool the four women jurors."

At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as 'Lover's Lane' did the defendant have sexual relations with you ?"
"Yes." whispered the girl, her head bowed.
"And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax ?" the lawyer continued.
"Oh no." she replied, "I'm pretty sure he had one of them real fancy Mazdas."