Delays Jokes / Recent Jokes

Until recently, British Rail was probably the holder of the most stupid excuses for train cancellations or delays, with ones like these, which are now well-known throughout the UK:
"leaves on the line"
"the wrong kind of snow"
and more recently, a lesser known one about
"a cow on the line"
But today, on the travel news, a company has really excelled itself, The reason for delays?
"a tree had fallen on the track"
This doesn't really sound very remarkable, until you realise that the company in question is London Underground.

Pee-wee Herman recently apologized for changes and delays to his long awaited comeback show, the reason given... he is still busy cleaning the back of the seats in the theatre from his last "comeback" show.

Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.