Deli Jokes

A New York deli worker hit the $1 million lottery... again. After she won the first million she kept her deli job and said she intends to keep working.
Her name was released as Valerie Wilson, but to New Yorkers she's known by the more affectionate name of, "Lucky Fucking Bitch."
On a side note, deli worker applications have tripled.

A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.

"Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered.

"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special."

"What's a Midnight Special?"

"A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread."

"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"

"Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out:

"One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year."Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year...and you want to know how I made $80,000?""It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife.""Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "Didn't I mention? We deliver anywhere..."

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80, 000 for the year.
"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year... and you want to know how I made $80, 000?"
"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "Didn't I mention? We deliver anywhere..."

No one is more sarcastic than a New York deli counterman. I asked him why the buffalo mozzarella cost so much more than the regular.

"Didja ever try to milk a buffalo?"