Deli Jokes / Recent Jokes

No one is more sarcastic than a New York deli counterman. I asked him why the buffalo mozzarella cost so much more than the regular.

"Didja ever try to milk a buffalo?"

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80, 000 for the year.
"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year... and you want to know how I made $80, 000?"
"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "Didn't I mention? We deliver anywhere..."

My penis is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year."Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year...and you want to know how I made $80,000?""It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife.""Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "Didn't I mention? We deliver anywhere..."

a gay guy walks into a deli and is looking for a pepperoni stick. he goes up to the counter and asks the lady if she has any. she takes out about ten and he is looking through all of them. he points at one and goes, "oooo that ones niiice!", "i like that one.", "ooo thats too lumpy!", "thats the one! right there!" the deli lady asks, "Would you like that sliced or whole?". the gay guy replies, "Swiced, what do tink my ass is, a piggy bank?"