Demand Jokes / Recent Jokes
Here are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences of a number of would-be bank robbers...Pick The Right Bank:
You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.Study Your History:
Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, MN. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his
gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.Speak To The Right Teller:
One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.Don't Sign Your Demand Note:
Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an more...
Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the `real` reason this meeting has been called. Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table. During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm. Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming. Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it. Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room. Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points. When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, more...
Here are some lessons leaned from the experiences of a number of would-be bank robbers.
Pick The Right Bank:
You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.
Study Your History:
Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.
Speak To The Right Teller:
One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.
Don't Sign Your Demand Note:
Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in more...
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask prices of everything on the menu and then order something that you did not ask the price for.
3. Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11: 30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you are in.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on.
8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
9. Ask how they fit into that little box.
10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said' 'May I take your more...
Things to do at a Bowling Alley
Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
Wear Golf Shoes.
Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
Bring full angling gear, ask how they're more...
Things to do at a Bowling Alley Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out. When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy. Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation. Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire. Wear Golf Shoes. Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices. Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling. Play bocci with extra lane balls Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened. Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting..... fish. Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off. more...