Demand Jokes / Recent Jokes

Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order. Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for. Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window. Go to McDonalds and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you are in. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup. Ask how they fit into that little box. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on. Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said "May I take your order?" When asked if they can take your order say "No, why can't I take more...

This question was posted to the Usenet Oracle:
If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side
down. If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it
will land on it's feet. But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread,
butter-side up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat
land on it's feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to
deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must
hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that
the cat can not smash it's furry back. If the combined construct were to land,
nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not
fall.
That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have
discovered more...

Enter MEXICO illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense. Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical carefor you and your entire family. Try driving around as a Gringo in Mexico with no liability insurance, and have an accident. Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.
Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc.
Procreate abundantly. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural UnitedStates thing. You would not understand, pal."
Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.
Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legalrights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico.
Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all itsofficers.
This will never work in the real world. So why do we let them do it to us?

Sometime in the future:
"Hello. This is Bell Atlantic-Nynex-MCI-TCI-America Online customer
service. May I help you?"
"Yes, I'd like to report a problem with my telephone."
"Our records show you don't have local phone service through us."
"How'd you know who I am? I didn't give you my name."
"We have ways."
"Well, I'm pretty sure you have my phone service."
"Our records show you have long-distance, cellular, satellite TV,
Internet access and your MasterCard through us. Your phone
service must be through one of the other three big communications
companies. Have you looked at your bill?"
"My bill is 134 pages long."
"Oh, you're one of our light users. But we'd be happy to become your local phone provider. If you sign up, you get one-third off long-distance calls made on your cellular phone to friends and family members who have an Internet home more...