Democratic Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What's worse than a democratic president running foreign affairs?
A: Two democratic president's running foreign affairs.

The Democratic National Committee finally released thousands of pages of
financial disclosure information. Says Vince Vieceli, "Unfortunately,
they released them from a third-floor balcony in New York during the
parade for the Yankees."

Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said, "I never pass up a chance to promote the party. For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizable tip and say,' Vote Democratic.'" His opponent said, "I have a better scheme, and it doesn't cost me a nickel. I don't give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say,' Vote Democratic.'"

Did you know that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic seal from a donkey to a condom? That's because it represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false sense of security while you're being screwed.

From AP:

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama tried to reassure Jewish voters concerned about his Muslim ties...

Speaking to the National Jewish Democratic Council, the Illinois senator said his experience living in Indonesia [where Jews aren't allowed] for four years as a child and his ability to speak to Muslims could make him a better president.

"If I go to Jakarta and address the largest Muslim country on earth, I can say,'Apa kabar,' -- you know,'How are you doing?' -- and they can recognize that I understand their common humanity," Obama said.

What this reassurance would have sounded like during our previous great war, World War II:

...the Illinois senator said his experience living in Austria for four years as a child and his ability to speak to Austrians could make him a better president.

"If I go to Vienna, I can say,'Heil Hitler,' -- you know,'How are you doing?' -- and they can recognize that I more...

John Edwards was banned from speaking at the Democratic Convention in light of his extra-marital affair and subsequent lying about it. Bill Clinton spoke in his place.

ULTRA MICRO CONSTITUTION OF THE DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST REPUBLIC OF SRI LANKA

Section 1
Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka is an unitary
State Which Is Comprised of 24 Key Administrative District
Councils and their Sub Councils.
Section 2
All Laws relating to Citizenship, Matrimony, Inheritance and
Succession shall be governed by The General Law.
Section 3
English, Sinhala and Tamil shall be Official Languages.
Section 4
There shall be The Freedom of Speech, Expression and
Publication and The Freedom of Worship.
Section 5
All Levels of Health, Education and Industry are open to
Private Sector Investors.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Regards,
ULTRA MICROS