Describe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".. Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations: 1. Greetings more...

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Seagull Manager - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything, and then leaves.
Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
Career Limiting Move (CLM) - Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the more...

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows!)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want more...

In order to streamline the handling of problems within the system. Please fill out the following questionnaire before sending it in for Help. With your co-operation we should be able to provide faster and more efficient fault resolution.
COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM
1. Describe your problem:
______________________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
______________________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
____________________________-_________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__

5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on? Yes__ more...

There was a teacher who wanted to do an expierement so she went and bought a bag of life savers
The nextday she told the class that they had to close their eyes for this expierement
she gave the first kid a green lifesaver and told him to describe it.
He said '' it's round with a hole in the middle, it's green apple.''
the teacher said ''youre right''
she gave the next kid a red one and told him to describe it
he said '' it's round with a hole in the middle, it's cherry.''
the teacher said '' right''
she gave the last kid a clear one and told him to describe it and he said '' it's round with a hole in the middle, but i dont know the flavor.''
a kid in the back raises his hand and says '' i know i know''
the teacher said '' it's something your parents call each other''
the kid in the back says ''ass hole ass hole ''
the teach says '' no it's honey''

In order for us to understand your problem, we advise you to answer all the
questions. Circle the most appropriate for multiple/single choice questions.
We can assure you that; based on your answers; we will send an engineer within
two months upon receiving the completed form.
1. Describe your problem:
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
4. Problem Severity:

A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:

A. Locked more...

A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding.
The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?"
The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."