Described Jokes / Recent Jokes
A 27-year-old man described as one of the world's most prolific spammers was arrested Wednesday. Authorities described him as a horny single in your area with a 12 inch penis with hundreds of Ebay success kits, free surveys with easy cash advance and credit boosting techniques. He has been placed in prison with the arduous task of reading every spam mail on his account without the benefit of a Bulk Mail folder.
How to Answer
It is Saturday, a crisp spring afternoon, and you're exactly where you should be: stretched out on the couch in front of a televised sporting event. Opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your girlfriend enters the room and says,
'DO I LOOK FAT?'
There is no answer to this question that won't be interpreted' yes'.
'No' means yes.' Yes' means yes.' I don't know' means yes.' It doesn't matter' means yes. The briefest hint of a pause before speaking means yes, yes, yes.
Most of us would rather take our degrees again than field this one, yet it may well come up several times a week. Your only real choice is to say no, clearly and immediately, leaving no possibility for any subtext, and making it sound like a widely acknowledged fact and not simply your opinion. This doesn't work, but more...
British authorities described the terrorist plot as, "Mass murder on an unimaginable scale," while Lebanon's Prime Minister Saniora described it as, "Not so unimaginable."
Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.
What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?
Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...
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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT
The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.
Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.
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INTRODUCTION
The more...