Desert Jokes / Recent Jokes

A nun and a priest decide to go on a mission to preach about their religion. Unfortunately to reach everyone they have to go accross the desert. So they buy this cheap camel from a used camel dealer and start their journey. After about three days of crossing the desert they settle in for another nights sleep. In the morning they discover that the camel has died. With no other way to cross the desert they both accept their fate and look forward to meeting the heavens. In order to comfort the nun the priest gives her last rites and preaches.
To further comfort her he asks,"Sister is there any question I can answer you before we parish? Any mystery I can solve?"
The nun says, " I have one question, what is a penis?" The priest explains that it is the male sex organ and can also be referred to as a dick or cock.
The nun says, "Really, what is it used for?"
And the priest replies, "It is used to create life!!!"
With a shocked more...

A blonde was stranded on a desert island so she swims half way back to the main land gets tired so she turns around and swims back.

Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer more...

There were three men: an Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Chinese guy. They were having a competition to see which one could walk his dog over the desert without needing a drink.
So the Englishman sets off, but he only gets half way.
Then the Scotsman sets off, and he only gets half way too.
But the Chinise guy manages to get all the way across the desert.
The Englishman and the Scottsman asked him how he could possibly do that without any water?
"Me Chinese. Me not Silly, Me stick mouth round doggy's willy"

There were three men: an Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Chinese guy. They were having a competition to see which one could walk his dog over the desert without needing a drink.So the Englishman sets off, but he only gets half way.Then the Scotsman sets off, and he only gets half way too.But the Chinise guy manages to get all the way across the desert.The Englishman and the Scottsman asked him how he could possibly do that without any water?"Me Chinese. Me not Silly, Me stick mouth round doggy's willy"

A lawyer, a doctor, and a redneck were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the lawyer top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the lawyer was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there... what are you doing carrying a glass of water through the desert?"
The lawyer explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the doctor walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?" asked the rancher again.
As before, the doctor explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that's why he more...

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "Its not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "Its not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "Its not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since youve had a cigarette?""Ten years!", he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!" Then she asked, "How long has it been since youve had a drink of whiskey?" He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, thats more...