Desert Jokes / Recent Jokes
There were these 3 criminals who had just robbed a bank in Egypt. They were caught, convicted, and sentenced to exile in the Sahara Desert and they could each take only one thing. When they met in the desert they each were telling what they had brought.
"I brought a loaf of bread, so when I get hungry, I'll have something to eat," said the first criminal.
"I brought a water skin, so that when I get thirsty, I'll have something to drink," said the second.
"I brought a car door, so that when it gets hot I can roll down the window."
There was once a man who lived way out in the Sahara Desert, thousands of miles away from civilization, with only his faithfull camel and his tiny Oasis. One day the man got so frustrated that he decided that the time had come that he should fuck his camel. The camel, being a very tall creature, was out of the reach of the mans dick. So he decided to climb onto a dune and then do the camel. But every time his dick was ready, the camel would move and the man would fall. Discouraged, the man went back to his tent, only to hear the scream of a woman. He ran into the desert and saw a band of people readying themselves to rape the woman, he quickly pulled out his gun and fired a few shots into the air. This caused the band to get back into thier car and drive off. The man then went to the woman and asked if all was well. She replied, "Oh, my hero, you saved me, I will do anything for you. "GGGGREAT, the man replied, "will you please hold my camel a second"
An Englishman, a Texan and a Polak are lost in the Nevada desert. After days without water or food they come upon a lamp half buried in the sand. They rub the lamp and out comes a genie. Since they all rubbed the lamp the genie grants each one a single wish.
The Texan goes first and wishes to be transported back to his house where his pool was filled with beautiful women. The genie claps his hands and the Texan vanishes in a flash of light.
The Englisman wishes to be transported back to his house where he knows his wife will be eagerly awaiting him. Once again the Genie claps his hands and the Englishman vanishes.
The Polak sits down and thinks about what he should wish for. Suddenly realizing he is all alone in the desert, he promptly wishes that the Texan and the Englishman were back.
If you're lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis? The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination.
The Scene: Three people walking across the desert; an American, a Mexican, and a Winkie. (Substitute your favorite nationality/sub-culture known for its stupidity in place of Winkie.)
After they had been walking for a while, the Mexican and the Winkie notice that the American is carrying a glass of water. They asky why, and the American replies: "Well, when it gets real hot, I can drink this glass of water to cool off."
Then he drinks it.
The American and the Winkie notice that the Mexican is carrying a Sombrero. The Winkie asks him why he's carrying the hat, and the Mexican replies: "Well, when it gets real hot like now, I can put my hat on to be in the shade."
Then he puts it on.
The American and the Mexican notice that the Winkie has been lugging a car door through the desert. Neither of them can understand this, so they ask him why. The Winkie smiles and replies: "Well, its just like you two are doing. When I get hot, I can just more...
There were three girls -- a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. They each were asked what one thing would they bring to the desert.
The brunette said I would bring food in case I got hungry. The redhead said, "I would bring water in case I got thirsty." and the blonde haired girl said, "I would bring a car door, in case it got hot I could roll down the window!"