Diagonally Jokes

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe

I am diagonally parked between two parallel universes!

1. When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road,
don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others
from passing.
2. Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible.
Diagonal parking is preferred.
3. In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the
opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half
way and stop on the line, taking both.
4. As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of
you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it,
pull through and take it from him.
5. Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other
driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his/her car.
6. When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your
door really hard.
7. When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes
and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate more...

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.